


love me lights out

by httpeaches



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Established Relationship, Is this considered fluff?, M/M, i think its fluff at the ending?, um kinda sad i guess idk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-09
Updated: 2018-06-09
Packaged: 2019-05-20 05:48:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,708
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14888795
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/httpeaches/pseuds/httpeaches
Summary: baekhyun has a bad day, kyungsoo is here to stay.





	love me lights out

**Author's Note:**

> um hi!! this is my first time writing so pls be nice! hehe 
> 
> boys can cry too!! boys should cry!! let boys cry!!

it’s eerily quiet the moment kyungsoo enters his apartment that particular evening. the whole apartment is dark, curtains are drawn, not letting any light to seep through. he frowns.

 

toeing off his shoes before arranging it on the shoe rack, he enters the hallway and switches on the light. he winces when the sudden light hits his eyes, momentarily closing them to let the light adjusts. wary, he makes his way to the living room whilst clutching the strap of his backpack. he scans the living room to see if anything is out of place, to see if his shared apartment has been broken into. 

 

various thoughts fly into his head: did something happened, did someone break in to his house, did something happened to-

 

he snaps his head towards one of the room the moment he hears sniffles and croaked sobs through the one of the doors. letting his backpack slide to the floor, he softly pads to the room. kyungsoo has had such a long day, lectures after lectures, tutorials, club meetings and his eyes are threatening to shut but he still knocks on the door. after two knocks and still no answer, he turns the knob around and pokes his head inside, “babe?”

 

he’s met with more darkness engulfing the room, heavy sobs tear kyungsoo’s ears. he feels his heart constricts, feels his heart hammers, feels his throat closes up. his head spins, thinking of what exactly is going on, and feeling somewhat scared although this is not his first encounter with the kind of situation. worries surround his body as he makes his way to the center of the room, scooting down to face the other person. said person lays on his stomach whilst cocooning himself with the thick red comforter, sobbing into his pillow.

 

softly cradling the other person’s face, and internally revels when the person leans into the touch, kyungsoo tries, “hey baekhyun, you okay?”

 

baekhyun mums, only letting his hot tears fall, gracing his skin. he hiccups as kyungsoo whispers, “what’s wrong?”

 

baekyun shakes his head, hiccups and presses his head further into the pillow. screwing his eyes shut, he manages a “just give me a moment. i’ll- i’ll be better.”

 

“i know, and i trust you. i really do.” kyungsoo says, stroking baekhyun’s cheek gently before wiping the tears off his face. “but let me go through this with you. share with me. let me know.”

 

baekhyun turns and faces the other way, his way of indicating that he wants no more of the conversation. he pulls the comforter all the way to his head, too caught up in his feelings to actually deal it in a more positive way.

 

kyungsoo runs his hand up and down of baekhyun’s broad back, knowing the action will calm baekhyun down.

 

he accidentally learned about the trick one day when baekhyun is a nervous mess about turning his project that he has worked hard on for several weeks to his professor. that particular day, baekhyun was a ball of anxiety, waiting to burst at the slightest inconvenience. he paced back and forth in front of the professor’s office a couple of times, mumbling about ‘what if his project is not good enough? what if the professor thinks what he worked on is boring? what if-‘ kyungsoo put a hand on his lower back and started to stroke, trying to soothe baekhyun. baekhyun’s rambling stopped when he felt kyungsoo’s soothing hands running and up down his back. kyungsoo smiled and told him he’ll be okay, that the professor will love his work and it’ll be over once he turns his project. baekhyun has since been the top student of the architecture major in his university.

 

kyungsoo stares at baekhyun’s broad back for a while before making his way out of the room. “i’ll be at the living room. come outside when you need me.” he pauses before he closes the door, i love you and please get better and i can’t bear watching you like this and not being able to help are heavy on his tongue. in the end, he says nothing.

 

-

 

baekhyun does come out sometime around 11pm and walks towards the kitchen. kyungsoo watches from the living room, his assignments are neatly prepped before him. he has been reading the same line from his Korean Penal Code act five times and still it doesn’t register. his mind reeling back as to why baekhyun is so upset.

 

he hates it. he hates whatever or whomever that made baekhyun like that. baekhyun, according to kyungsoo is sun personified. bringing warmth to everyone around him, so dazzling when he smiles, so blinding when he laughs. so kyungsoo hates it when the sun seeped out of him, replacing with an ugly gloomy whether. because it’s not baekhyun, and when baekhyun is not the usual baekhyun, kyungsoo gets terribly upset. though he tries not to show it because it’s not about him right now, it’s about baekhyun.

 

baekhyun is so distracted, too lost in his thoughts that the hot coffee mug he is holding suddenly slips out his hand, burning his hand in the process. he yelps.

 

kyungsoo has never been an athlete, but he reaches baekhyun in record time. he brings baekhyun to the sink and washes his hand thoroughly of the liquid in silence. he carefully brings baekhyun to the dining table, side-stepping the broken glass and the coffee.

 

“sit down. i’ll make you some hot chocolate, okay?”

 

baekhyun looks up to him and nods. no smiles accompanying the nod, no cheeky comments, just soulless eyes looking at kyungsoo. kyungsoo thinks there are tears pooling in the corners of his own eyes, and he feels so sad, so so sad looking at baekhyun.

 

carefully picking up the shards of glasses, kyungsoo dutifully cleans up the mess before producing a cup of hot chocolate with marshmallow on top just the way baekhyun likes it. he nudges the cup towards baekhyun when he notices the latter staring into space. kyungsoo softly taps two fingers on the dining table to bring baekhyun back. baekhyun jerks before meeting his eyes.

 

“stay here with me.” kyungsoo says. _don’t zone out on me, be in this present time with me, i’m here, i’m here, i’m here for you_ , he means.

 

baekhyun tries to smile and nods but it never reaches his eyes. kyungsoo detests it.

 

for the first time that day, kyungsoo looks at baekhyun properly. he looks at baekhyun’s greasy hair, to the bags under his eyes, to his tear-stained cheeks, to his chapped lips (baekhyun has always had beautiful soft moist lips). “stop staring at me like that, soo.”

 

baekhyun looks so tired, so sad, so worn out. kyungsoo heart tugs. kyungsoo frantically searches baekhyun’s eyes and seeing the light that is usually present is not there. kyungsoo nearly cries. his heart feels incredibly hollow.

 

kyungsoo notices baekhyun’s hands are shaking, his breath frantic, and his lips quiver. his eyes soften at the sight.

 

“come, i’ll run you a bath.” it’s not a question that kyungsoo poses. he knows he needs to do this for baekhyun. he knows days like these are infrequent so although baekhyun is not ready to tell what has been bothering him, he’ll be there for baekhyun. until baekhyun is ready to share with him, until baekhyun is ready to let kyungsoo into his bubble, until baekhyun is okay.

 

he slids his hand into baekhyun, brushing his thumb on the expanse of baekhyun’s palm. “okay?” kyungsoo inquires. baekhyun numbly nods.

 

kyungsoo leads baekhyun to their shared bathroom, switches on the light all the while never letting go of baekhyun’s hand. he turns the tap of the bathtub and adjusts the temperature. when he deems the temperature is warm enough just the way baekhyun likes it, he lets it fill before dispensing a strawberry bathbomb from the cabinet besides the bathroom’s mirror. kyungsoo vividly remembers the day they went to the lush store, baekhyun examining and smelling every bathbomb because _it smells nice, soo! let’s buy this to use at home, yes? im going to get the strawberry one! which one do you want? oh, this peach smells nice! let’s use them together, hmm?_ kyungsoo colors when the salesgirl giggles at baekhyun good-naturedly and give a knowing smile at kyungsoo.

 

baekhyun hiccups when kyungsoo tugs his shirt off. he releases a shudder when the cold air hits his bones, “it’s too cold.”

 

kyungsoo hurries to take the remaining articles of clothing off of baekhyun. the latter visibly quakes when kyungsoo leads him to the bathtub. cautiously, kyungsoo steadies baekhyun to help the elder step into the bathtub without tumbling down seeing how weak and tired he is.

 

once baekhyun is surrounded by warm water that smells like strawberries, kyungsoo notices baekhyun releases a shuddering breath, trying to level his breathing. he smiles sadly seeing the other in a situation he’s currently in. taking a deep breath, kyungsoo turns to leave before he feels a hand circles his wrist stopping his motion.

 

“where are you going? are you leaving me here alone?” baekhyun looks alarmed, panic apparent on his face. “stay? stay here with me, please? i don’t want to be alone.”

 

“i’m not going anywhere, baek. i was going to take a towel for you.” kyungsoo searches baekhyun’s face to understand if there’s anything else that baekhyun means but doesn’t say. “should i do that later, then?”

 

baekhyun meekly nods, “yes.”

 

“okay.”

 

crouching to meet eye level with baekhyun, he puts both of his hands on the side of the bathtub. “what do you want to do? do you just to soak in? do you want proper bath?”

 

“a proper bath, please.” baekhyun tugs his hair. “my hair is greasy; my body feels uncomfortable.” he peers at kyungsoo underneath his eyelashes. “will that be okay? can you- can you bathe me?” kyungsoo has always loved his eyelashes, they’re not short but they’re not particularly long either. on days where baekhyun dozes off during a movie that they’ve seen together atleast 5 times, kyungsoo counts his lashes, the light from the movie illuminated baekhyun’s face. kyungsoo always loved _the great gatsby_ , but he abandons the scene where gatsby hosts the lavish party in order to properly count them. he feels giddy when he’s focusing on counting the lashes. he smiles so wide; his heart is about to burst with so much fondness when he finds out that baekhyun’s right lashes has approximately 93 lashes, his left 92.

 

“of course i can.” kyungsoo stands to reach body wash, shampoo and conditioner from the cabinet. he rolls his sleeves, not wanting to wet it before taking the showerhead that’s attached to the bathtub to wet baekhyun’s hair. he feels baekhyun hand stops him. puzzled, he looks at baekhyun quizzically.

 

“um.” baekhyun starts.

 

“yes, baek?”

 

shutting his eyes, pink tinting his cheeks, he asks, “can you come inside with me?”

 

smiling, kyungsoo replies, “you want me to take a bath with you?”

 

baekhyun’s eyes flutter and his breath stutters, “please?”

 

kyungsoo laughs softly, “alright. i’ll come in.”

 

shredding his clothes off, he tests the water temperature before climbing in the tub. it’s not exactly big, with the both of them inside, their thighs collide. kyungsoo contemplates to either face baekhyun or sit behind him, and settles to sit behind him as he thinks baekhyun is not entirely ready to converse about the whole ordeal.

 

baekhyun immediately leans back to kyungsoo chest and let kyungsoo massage his hair with the honey-scented shampoo that both of them favor. baekhyun hums when he feels strong familiar fingers shampooing his hair and massaging his head.

 

baekhyun doesn’t say anything. kyungsoo doesn’t say anything. both of them are quiet throughout the entire bath, save for baekhyun’s occasional hums and splashes of water every time they move.

 

“he rejected my architectural drawing.” baekhyun starts after a long while, titling his head to his hugged knees. “professor kim said it lacked creativity. said it was too similar to my last two drawings. he asked if i have,” he chokes back a sob. kyungsoo’s heart sinks as he rubs a soothing circle on his back. “he asked if i have lost my touch.”

 

“i worked so hard on the piece, soo. it took me months to perfect it, i didn’t sleep well all the nights i worked on the project, had multiple anxiety attack. and even after all that, he rejected it. just like that.” baekhyun lets out a bitter laugh.

 

kyungsoo knows this particular project means a lot to baekhyun. baekhyun has talked his ear off the moment the faculty announced that the best two drawings will get a place to do their internship at one of the biggest architectural firm in the country, SM Architectures’. the five finalists will get a chance to do a prototype of their drawings before presenting it to the panels of judges, consisting personnel from SM Architectures’ and the school’s faculty dean and professors.

 

tears stream down baekhyun’s face as he heaves a heavy sigh. being widely recognized as the top student of the faculty and suddenly having his project rejected by his favorite professor would tear just about anyone down.

 

“when is the deadline? did he give you any extension?” kyungsoo questions because baekhyun has always been a favorite of professor kim. he wonders briefly if professor kim rejected baekhyun’s project due to the fact that he knows baekhyun could do so much better.

 

kyungsoo envelopes baekhyun from behind, laying his head on the juncture of baekhyun’s neck. baekhyun sniffles, “two weeks.”

 

“then, try again, hm?” kyungsoo slips his hand to baekhyun’s.

 

“i can’t do it in just two weeks, soo!” baekhyun is sobbing, frantic. uncontrolled, unadulterated, unashamed wailing. kyungsoo notices that baekhyun presses his fingers on his hand, hard. _it’s going to draw blood_ , he thinks. baekhyun is completely frenzied, hiccupping and his breath wailing.

 

and just like that, kyungsoo suddenly realizes the gravity of the situation. his heart shatters. he isn’t so sure, but the way his cheeks feel damp, he thinks he’s crying as well.

 

“baek, babe, plea-“

 

“it’s too short of a time, soo. i can’t do it! i’ve disappointed professor kim. i’m never going to get it done in time.” baekhyun hiccups. “my dream to intern and work in SM Architectures’ is gone, soo! it’s gone and it’s all my fault.”

 

“i’ll help you. i’ll do whatever it takes to help you finish it. please, baek, don’t give up now.” kyungsoo is desperate. kyungsoo is desperate to bring his baekhyun back. his mind starts reeling, thinking of ways to clear his schedule aside from classes to help and be there for baekhyun for the next two weeks.

 

baekhyun body quakes, his breath leaving him in shattered sigh. kyungsoo has never thought he would dislike a sound that baekhyun make. he doesn’t know it was possible to detest a sound. it didn’t sound like baekhyun.

 

kyungsoo tries to steel himself to be strong for the both of them and focuses on stroking baekhyun gently, soothing, encouraging. “remember when you thought you couldn’t finish that university inter-state level architectural competition last year? you were busy juggling between the competition, and the theater play that you wanted to try out. and you did well on both, right? your project was hand-picked by the director, didn’t it?”

 

“and if you could do it then, you could absolutely do it now, too.” kyungsoo gently turns baekhyun's body to face him, cradling baekhyun’s face in between his hands. “look at me, baek.”

 

baekhyun looks into kyungsoo’s eyes. the downturn of his lips still hasn’t changed.

 

“you are the most talented architecture to-be i have ever encountered. and i’m not saying this because i’m your boyfriend. your creativity transcends beyond anything. you can think of drawing sketches of buildings i could never thought of. and apparently, so does other people. because they would always be in awe of your drawings, aren’t they?”

 

stroking baekhyun’s cheek fondly, kyungsoo adds, “failure doesn’t mean you are doomed to fail forever. i’m positive professor kim did what he did because he knows you aren’t maximizing your potential for this. he knows working at that company has always been what you wanted right?”

 

baekhyun looks into kyungsoo’s eyes. the downturn of his lips has changed to a neutral state.

 

“so, you’ll just have to do it again, right? we’ll go walking around town tomorrow, okay? for you to get some ideas running up in this brain of yours.” kyungsoo softly pokes baekhyun’s forehead with two fingers. “and you’ll do _so_ well, the company would be crazy _not_ to choose you.”

 

baekhyun looks into kyungsoo’s eyes. the neutral state of his lips has tugged upwards.

 

“soo?”

 

“hm?”

 

“can you do me a favour?”

 

“of course, baek, anything for you.”

 

“can you kiss me.”

 

for the first time that day, kyungsoo heart swells.

 

-

 

the two weeks have been somewhat peaceful for baekhyun. after getting a proper rest and walking around town with kyungsoo, he has been getting bursts of creative ideas. he sketches anything and everything in his sketchpad that kyungsoo bought for him on a whim. his mind moves fast; his hands move faster.

 

baekhyun juggles between attending classes, showing up to his part-time job to finishing the project. and kyungsoo is always present. a permanent fixture in his life. kyungsoo is the one who fixes him his plate, reminding him not to drink so much coffee, to wash up, to get proper rest. baekhyun gets kisses in between the reminders, so he doesn’t mind as much. and even though baekhyun is rushing to meet his deadline, he manages to stay calm and collective.

 

“done!” he shouts to no one in particular, slamming his pencil down on his table. in his chair, he stretches his body, turning his sides, rolling his neck to relieve his neck of the kinks. baekhyun feels kyungsoo rather than hearing the latter come into the room. hands on both sides of baekhyun’s shoulders, kyungsoo starts massaging to reward him.

 

“finished?”

 

baekhyun reclines his head back to look at kyungsoo from below since kyungsoo is standing behind him. with a sheepish smile, he answers, “yes.”

 

he laughs when kyungsoo bends down from his position to pepper his face with kisses. “goob job.” a kiss to his forehead. “told you, you could do it.” a kiss to his right eye. “you did so well.” a kiss to his left eye. “you’re so amazing.” a kiss to his nose.

 

closing his eyes, baekhyun is eager for the last kiss. he rises his head when he doesn’t feel kyungsoo’s lips near to his face. frowning, he opens his eyes to find kyungsoo smiling so fondly at him. “come on, soo. where’s my spiderman kiss?” he whines, puckering his lips to ask for a kiss.

 

laughter bubbles up within kyungsoo, and he lets them go, unrestrained as he kisses baekhyun. “i’m so proud of you.”

 

-

 

they’re both in the living room, kyungsoo is preparing for his faculty's annual mock trial. his team has been shortlisted to enter the finals after their astounding performance the last round. shuffling through his scattered books and notes to prepare, he flits his eyes over to baekhyun at the other end of the table. he sees the other in deep concentration on handling his prototype, carefully placing little bits of detail to wherever deems necessary.

 

when baekhyun learned that he has been chosen as one the finalists, he was so in a daze and disbelief that jongdae, a fellow architecture student, had to nudge him when professor lee -another judge of the internship competition- called him up to receive his funds to kickstart the prototype. baekhyun didn’t miss the smile professor kim sent his way. kyungsoo had treated him with his kimchi stew, that baekhyun downs to his last bit.

 

he watches baekhyun in a daze, remembering after the kimchi stew dinner, baekhyun maps his body with kisses, thanking kyungsoo for believing, for being there for him and for loving him. kyungsoo’s body feels on fire. he has never felt more alive.

 

kyungsoo leans his head on his arm on the table, content in watching baekhyun work so hard for his dreams. his heart feels so full. his heart feels so whole. he sees baekhyun brows furrowing trying to compare between his drawing and the prototype, to see if the current half-finished set-up matches the drawing. he sees baekhyun’s lips juts out when he misplaced one of the details, taking it out to place to its right place. he feels so warm looking at baekhyun. he doesn’t think he could stop smiling. he doesn’t think he could ever stop being and looking so lovestruck. _i’m so so so in love with you,_ kyungsoo thinks in a daze.

 

baekhyun looks up from his project, a wide smile gracing his face. his pushes back his glasses that has slide down to his nose. _he looks so beautiful like this_ , kyungsoo dreamily sighs. _he looks so genuine and happy.  how do i get so lucky?_

giddy laughter rings through at the air. kyungsoo is startled when he sees baekhyun is suddenly in front of him, eyes shining so bright, mouth stretched so wide. kyungsoo blinks.

 

his cheeks are cradled in between baekhyun’s hands, and he feels he’s brought forward to collide his forehead with baekhyun’s. kyungsoo heart hammers.

 

fixating his eyes on baekhyun’s, his breath hitches.

 

“i’m so so so in love with you too, do kyungsoo. you don’t know what you do to me. you make me want to be better in every aspect of my life. you make me constantly want to push and maximize my potential everytime. your constant belief and never-wandering trust in me makes me feel there’s nothing i couldn’t achieve. you love me so good, so so good.” baekhyun holds his gaze on kyungsoo, “ _i’m_ the one whose lucky. thank you for loving me.”

 

kyungsoo has never felt more loved in his entire life, and the love he has for baekhyun is so strong he doesn’t think he could contain it anymore. but, he thinks, it’s okay. because just as much as he loves baekhyun, he’s sure he is loved back with the same intensity: fiercely, unwaveringly, steadily.

 

 fin.

 

**Author's Note:**

> comments + kudos + constructive criticisms are all appreciated. let me know what u think :-) 
> 
> also, bbh is an architecture major and ksoo is a law major. professor kim is kim heechul lol. professor lee is leeteuk lol. 
> 
> i've re-read and rechecked this for like 6 times and im so so so sleepy now, so if there's any misspelling, wrong usage of grammars and such, IM SORYRY
> 
> also, forgive me for any inaccuracies!


End file.
